


Alive and Kicking

by AyumiUK (weirdpianist)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin is the only sane man, Crack, F/F, Fujoshi!Mikasa, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Mikasa ships Eruri, Multi, ooc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 06:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2099316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weirdpianist/pseuds/AyumiUK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren’s alive, and Levi does all the kicking. Snippets of a healthy relationship between kicker and kickée(?).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pervert in the Closet

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't ignore the tags.
> 
> And Holy Crop, I have really bizarre ideas for this.

When his tooth was dislodged by Levi’s enthusiastic kicks, Eren was completely besotted. The corporal’s indifferent expression as he ruthlessly stomped his chained down body… ah, it sent shivers down his spine, and Eren had to stifle the tiny little moans that threatened to spill from his parted lips.

He wasn’t sure whether the ‘public’ aspect of that particular spanking was a turn on, but he intended to find out. Through repeated attempts. In a dark dungeon, in the corridors, on Levi’s bed…

His first crush, at the tender and adorably titanicidal age of twelve, had been a fellow cadet. Annie’s cold blue eyes were absolutely mesmerizing, but what truly distinguished her from their peers and made Eren’s heart leap in wonderful ways… were her precise moves as she beat him into submission, time and time again.

So, he couldn’t really say it was a surprise when the following idea wormed itself into his mind, ‘I wonder what would happen if I focused on sex before transforming. Could the both of us…?’

Eren shook his head to rid himself of that line of thinking; it was extremely inappropriate, especially if one took into consideration the topic of their discussion.

Still, the possibility of Annie being a titan just like him made his mind go to strange places, most revolving around daydreams best left to miss(ter?) Hange—

Shivering, he vowed to never convey those ideas in particular to the titan maniac. Who knew what would happen to his purity? Most important, Hange wasn’t even his type.

Whatever half-baked fantasies of an encounter with the hot (and very naked) Female Titan was shot to hell after she transformed smack in the middle of Stohess and they had a most epic showdown, Godzilla style.

Oh, and she almost killed his friends. Can’t forget that part.

* * *

 

After this little (imagined) unfaithfulness, Eren went back to pining after the corporal. At night, after everyone else had retired to sleep, he took a fortifying breath and blurted, “I… I really like you!”

Levi carefully turned to face the boy, expression blank. “What the hell, shitty brat? Did you add something to your soup?”

Taking his crush’s eloquent response as a positive sign, he elaborated, “I love the way you can look down at anyone despite being so short.” Not noticing the vein about to burst on his superior’s forehead, Eren continued, “And you’re so blunt! I wish I could be half as shameless as you are! You can also obsess over a single stain for almost an hour –so much dedication is very impressive!”

“Anything else?” Levi cracked his knuckles.

“Well, there’s also you unexpected softer side. But I guess no one’s perfect.” Eren rubbed the back of his head. Whatever else he was about to say was interrupted by a boot to the stomach, followed by another on his chest and a kick right to the back of his knees that forced him to the recently mopped floor of the dining hall. The feeling of Levi’s feet all over him was too much, and he let out soft whimpers.

“What? Are you crying already?”

At that moment, Eren realized no one could hear them. So, he threw restraint out the window and moaned loudly, “…corporal! No more, or I’ll—” His pleas were muffled by a flurry of kicks to the face, and he felt his nose break. “Ah… ah…”

Those sounds felt slightly off, and Levi finally _understood_ the exact effect his outburst was having on his charge. More specifically, his eyes met a certain part of Eren’s anatomy.

Comprehension gave way to a fascinated kind of horror, and he had to suppress the reflex to kick the brat again. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Stared a bit more. When his brain finally resumed working, Levi muttered, “Be sure to clean the blood stain before you go to sleep, disgusting worm.”

Fortunately for our favorite violent shorty’s sanity, he had turned around before saying those words—Eren wasn’t quite trying to hide his glazed eyes and quickening breath as the insults registered and his crush evolved into complete, utter adoration.

* * *

 

Although his pace was brisker than normal, Levi wasn’t running away! He just had to remove that filthy blood from the sole of his boots, that was all.

 

Really.


	2. Fangirl in the Closet

Mikasa knew Eren was up to something when he stayed at the dinner hall. Being the concerned girlfr- er, sister, she grabbed Armin’s hand, hid behind the door and eavesdropped.

“I… I really like you!”

The girl tensed.

“What the hell, shitty brat? Did you add something to your soup?”

_Her reaction, exactly. But Levi wasn’t allowed to insult him like that!_

“I love the way you can look down at anyone despite being so short. And you’re so blunt! I wish I could be half as shameless as you are! You can also obsess over a single stain for almost an hour –so much dedication is very impressive!”

_Ah. So it was only his hero worship. Her innocent Eren was so cute!_

“Anything else?”

_Conceited old man._

“Well, there’s also your unexpected softer side. But I guess no one’s perfect.”

_Wait, what were those noises?_

“What? Are you crying already?”

_What was happening there…_

Eren moaned and her hands gripped the doorknob.

“Let go of me!” She hissed.

“Mi-Mikasa, I really think we should go,” was Armin’s valiant response, although the effect was somewhat ruined by his slightly shaking hands.

“…corporal! No more, or I’ll—” Eren’s pleas were followed by scuffling noises.

“…must …save …Eren’s virginity…” She mumbled, trying to stanch the blood that was steadily dripping from her nostrils—they were both very hot, and her mind conjured all kinds of scenarios...  however, the only one who could touch Eren like that was her. These conflicting emotions were only making her more and more agitated.

Armin was almost hyperventilating. What should he do?

“Ah… ah…”

“Mikasa! Eren won’t forgive you if you barge in there! Do you want him to hate you?”

That jolted her back into her cool, composed self.

Feeling a bit more confident, Armin pulled her hand and led her to their quarters.

The two friends were out of earshot before the following statement, “Be sure to clean the blood stain before you go to sleep, disgusting worm.”

Armin shivered, feeling as if he had somehow dodged a bullet.

 

* * *

 

Mikasa slammed the door to her room, threw herself at the mattress and screamed on her pillow, “That [text redacted] baby-faced shotacon! [text redacted] He’s so dead—” (Whatever else she was saying was too muffled for the author to understand, so it shan’t be transcribed here. The author would also like to point out that the few intelligible words in-between the grumbles and growls don’t belong in a T-rated fic and will therefore be omitted. Thank you for your comprehension.)

After calming down, she put down the pillow and sat on the edge of the bed, “…Eren’s admired that shortie for so long... how do I compete with that? I can’t cut him down, it would put Eren in danger.”

All the strength in the world would never be enough to gain Eren’s heart. And even if it could, she wasn’t as strong as Levi. Yet.

What could she do…?

She removed her scarf and, after carefully folding it, Mikasa hid it under her pillow—she used to sleep with it on, but after the third time she was almost strangled to death, Eren finally convinced her to take it out to sleep. (As for cleaning… that was another arduous battle. It ended in a compromise: she’d wash the scarf once a week and immediately wear it afterwards. Obviously, hanging her treasure to dry where anyone could steal it was out of cogitation.)

That night, her dreams featured a wolf with undercut hair and a green-eyed lamb. Strangely enough, the lamb seemed to be the one doing the chase…

 

* * *

 

Deleted scene:

Armin shivered, feeling as if he had somehow dodged a bullet.

More like an atomic bomb.

“Atomic bomb? What is that?”

Er, you aren’t supposed to be able to read this, yanno?

“Oh. Okay then.”

Next: The perfect solution was right in front of Mikasa all this time. Eren decides to pursue Levi more vehemently. Armin has to choose between his friends?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't write it wrong. Mikasa simply would never ship Ereri. She wouldn't approve of any Eren pairing that involves anyone but her, for that matter. And that phrasing is awkward as heck.
> 
> ...If you spot any strange mistake, please leave a comment and I'll correct it as soon as possible.


End file.
